You know how when you take a really hot shower and at first the water feels like it burns a little bit until you get used to it, when your body relaxes, and then it’s heavenly??

That’s how I’m feeling as I type this out at 5:00 am this morning.

Today I’m on day 2 of week 1 in the Beth Moore Bible Study called, A Woman’s Heart: God’s Dwelling Place (pg 36 if you’re super interested) and at the bottom of this page it says, “Bitterness is a spiritual cancer, a rapidly growing malignancy that can consume your life. After it consumes the soul, it begins to eat away at the body. It is so contagious that we can pass it on to our children, who are often oblivious to the source of their bitterness…”

Notice that line: “[children] who are often oblivious to the source of their bitterness”

This burned…really badly!

I mean, to think that any negative perspectives, mindsets, that my boys have, which are not from an outside influence, came from me (and my husband).

OUCH!!

There’s the scalding truth, like that initial burn from a too-hot shower. Yet, after I realized the weight of my actions, I understood something powerful… I cannot expect (or even ask) my children to be consistent in their actions while I’m inconsistent in mine (as I so often do).

I cannot expect (or even ask) my children to be consistent in their actions while I’m inconsistent in mine.
– Alisabeth Christian 

Because my husband and I teach our boys to be loving and kind to each other, to us, to others… how can I expect this behavior, this valuable character trait I hope they’ll develop deeply, to genuinely take root in their lives when I’ve possibly, most likelydefinitely displayed the exact behavior that is counter to all of this?

Hypocrite! I say. Absolute hypocrite.

But do you want to know where that “heavenly part of the shower” comes in which follows the scalding truth?

Right here👇🏼

As much as this truth hurts; His grace, His mercy, and His love follow closely behind my pain with a calming reality… life doesn’t have to continue on this way. I can, and will, have a conversation with all 4 of my sons to open their eyes to the truth of my wrong doings. I don’t want them growing up having unnecessary roots of bitterness tangled up in the garden of their hearts. Like a deeply-rooted, non-native, plant of toxicity it’s got to go! And the only way it can be removed is with truth. I have to agree with Beth Moore when she says in this study, “Bitterness cannot be ignored but must be healed at the very core, and only, Christ can heal bitterness.”

In removing these roots now, it allows for fertile soil to properly develop love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. And isn’t that what we, as parents, want for them… a better life than what we ourselves had?

I certainly do.